Tijuana Vasectomy

from The Foggy Bitch by Salt Lake Whalefishers

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lyrics

Well I wrapped it up, should have been fine
But the damn thing broke for the 2nd time
Now she’s late, thought “oh great”
Should have taken those pills on time
Well I got so scared, had to build the nerve
To tell her Dad and her Mum
I should have been more careful
And I should have been more fearful
I hit her with a hot one.
Well we had a little boy, bought him lots of toys
He’s the captain of his pirate ship
Then she poked holes in the rubber
Now he has a little brother
I had to put an end to this
So I took a little trip across the border
Down into Mexico
Then this little seniorita said to drink all this tequilla
We’ll before you hit the floor

Chorus:
Now I take a look back and I wish I had paid more
Cause I walk with a limp and my balls drag on the floor
I got a Tijuana special vasectomy
But at least now they hang symmetrically

I knew something was wrong
When I looked at my schlong
As I lie there naked on my back
It wasn’t any shorter, it just looked distorted
By the massive length of my sack
I was only 28 and I thought it was great
That the condoms were a thing of the past
Now just to get it up I need a Viagra and a cup
And a feather to tickle my ass.
The first fornication after the operation
I think I scared the neighbors when I cussed
I was going for an hour
And expecting quite a shower
But I shot a cloud of dust.

credits

from The Foggy Bitch, released January 22, 2013

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Salt Lake Whalefishers Salt Lake City, Utah

Nick:
Tenor Banjo & Vocals.
Jared:
Guitar & Vocals.
Drum Machine: Drums.

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