Peewee's Playhouse

from by Salt Lake Whalefishers

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lyrics

You’re never gonna see Dick Cheney smile
Unless it’s an evil grin
You’ll never see a man with a mullet
Become the President
You’re never gonna hear the Pope say
“You know those Hippies might be right”
Unless they kill the Bundys
Lower Uncton will never see light

You’ll never see an empty locksmith class
At the county jail
Cell phone’s never gonna see the check
That I said was in the mail
I never read the Bible to the end
Cause the main character dies
You’re never gonna read on the back of a porn
that it “may cause damage to eyes”

Chorus:
And I’m never gonna be as happy
As I was when I was 10
Cause I’m never gonna see new episodes
Of Peewee’s Playhouse again

You’ll never have a decent staring match
If you opponent has a lazy eye
You’re never gonna see a charity
Called “Drunks for Battered Wives”
You’re never gonna see a helicopter
Parked in my garage
You’ll never tell if my flashlight’s on
Cause it’s painted camoflauge

You’ll never understand a single word
That Irish Rover says
I could be wrong, but I don’t think I’ll ever see
A birth control shaped Pez
You’re never gonna hear George W. Bush
Say a smart thing on his own
Unless you had a young boy with you
You never got in Michael Jackson’s home.

credits

from The Foggy Bitch, released January 22, 2013

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